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Friday, 23 November 2007
Quasi-counselling approaches
I have been writing some stuff on counselling and thought this would go well on a blog
In any true counselling approach there is always a clear treatment contract and counselling techniques are being used. A treatment contract occurs when both the client and counsellor agree to a certain set of circumstances. The client agrees to attend the counsellor’s place of work, at a certain time for a counselling session and often the client makes some sort of payment for the service. The counsellor agrees to meet the client there and conduct a counselling session where he will use certain counselling techniques in order to assist the client to resolve whatever difficulty the client presents. The counsellor usually receives some sort of payment for doing this and commonly has some form of training and qualification as a counsellor. The counsellor is often a member of some kind of professional organisation which defines how the counsellor and client can relate. When two people relate in this particular set of circumstances one can say that counselling is occurring.
Real counselling
On the other side there are many relationships where there is clearly no treatment contract such as with friends, business partners and marital partners. Obviously no counselling techniques would occur in such relationships. There is also a group in between where the lines are less clear between as to what is counselling and what is not. It is much less clear on weather there is a treatment contract or not and these can be seen as the quasi-counselling approaches. See diagram 1
Diagram 1
Quasi means not real or a substitute
To move from one group to another on the surface is quite simple. Two people who agreed they had a treatment contract and were client and therapist can simply both agree that a treatment contract no longer exists and say to each other that they are now friends.
Of course that is easier said than done and does not address the real issue. For example in counselling there is sometimes a power difference between client and therapist. The client imbues the counsellor with potency and power similar to how a child views a parent as more psychologically powerful than it is. Of course by simply saying we no longer have a treatment contract and we are now friends does not change the psychological perception of both parties. That takes time, effort and good will on both sides. The change from client-therapist to friends is a difficult transition to make and indeed makes for an interesting study in human relationships. In my 25 years of counselling I have done it on a few occasions but it is certainly not a common occurrence.
How does a guru get his power? He convinces people to give their power over to him.
However it gets even more unclear. Two people who have never been client and counsellor and have simply developed a friendship over time may not have an equal power relationship. Just because they have only ever been friends does not mean they will view each other with equal power and psychological potency. In fact I would say that in most friendships the there is a power difference. One person will tend to be the more psychologically dominant one. Usually it is not too big a difference in power but on occasions it certainly is. Obviously the more dominant one can use their power to exploit the other financially, sexually and so on and indeed that does occur. The same situation exists in many marriages.
Of course it works both ways and does not have to have a negative outcome. Some friendships can be very therapeutic for one or both parties. The ‘less powerful’ friend can be valued and treated with respect by the other friend and thus achieve significant psychological gains. All this with not a treatment contract in sight!
Friends. Often one person is more often in the driving seat.
Of course this is what professional organisations are endeavouring to deal with when they develop their ethics codes and so forth but trying to regulate human relationships is fraught with difficulty and is a notoriously ineffective pursuit. As is shown in the paragraphs above therapy can easily occur in many different types of relationships.
I have met some counsellors who my dog would not see as psychologically potent and I have met some clients who are very emotionally robust where there would be minimal transfer of potency onto the counsellor.
Graffiti
19:55 Permalink | Comments (16) | Email this
Comments
Hi Graffiti,
Interesting post. I like your thoughts around the non-client/counsellor relationships. Actually those relationships are quite fascinating in the workplace. On so many different levels
boss/employee
good boss/good employee
bad boss/good employee
etc.
peer / peer competitive/non-competitive.
big boss/boss
mmm. I will think on that and come back.
Most importantly I love dogs...what dog have you got and what is his personality like? (ie loopy fun or laid back cool or?)
I wonder what his/her name is too?
:-)
Cheers
Kahless
Posted by: kahless | Friday, 23 November 2007
Does that post cover all types of friendship? Ohh yeah... hi Tony. Gosh the wedding was lovely. We had a great night. I hope you did too.
Isn't a friend someone we trust? I mean a friend is way more closer than an aquaintance and a good friend is like way closer than a friend type thing? Married couples in my mind no longer are 2 individual people but what is mine is his and vise versa (unless it involves a mango of course! It's summer, lots of mangos about in summer - i get his armor out for him to don around ... September-ish) In marriage equality can't exist. I don't know why but it just can't. I think some try to make it look like it does, but it doesn't. Ohh, unless there's no real affection involved maybe. Naa that wouldn't work either. What ever!
But friends, real friends counsel eachother. There's equality but only in the way we allow each to drive for what ever reason at the time. Like driving on a long trip and we each take turns at the wheel so the other can rest and recoup. They are individuals and are allowed to be. I guess they like each other enough for that to be important for the other. Good friends aren't always 'there' for the other. We each understand that we can't possibly do that - not all the time. A real friend will understand that i suppose.
There are some people that could do pretty much anything to or against me and we might have a bit of a tissy fit at each other but that would just forge our friendship - making it stronger. Ohh wow! I've had some doosy arguments and fights with my good friends... strangely humerous things when i think back on them now. But there are friends that i've hit the wall with and don't miss them all that much. We're more like aquaintances now i guess. Miss placed trust happens sometimes but usually worth the risk.
Aquaintances don't have access to power. We know each other and may go out and have fun together. They may be the people i see the most but they don't have access. NO!
We have a good friend who is a teacher. Everywhere he goes he meets people; students from years past who are adults/parents now. They still call him sir or mr ***. I see that and it make me think of your profession. Can't be easy all the time.
Ohh, i just had a thought ... if as a professional counsellor one is not able to counsel a person they know then i'll never get to counsel anyone! Ohh no! Is that a rule/law type thingy Tony? I didn't think of that! Bumma!!!
Saturday is nice isn't it? Hope yours is a good one
roses
Posted by: roses | Saturday, 24 November 2007
KAHLESS!!!!!
Where are you? Are you revamping you're site?? Geez ... Both of them??? Your puppies are still there - cuties!
Posted by: roses | Saturday, 24 November 2007
ROSES!!!!!
Just some things I have to do in RL.
Like do something for the first time.
So just taking a transmission break and not going to be blogging for a few days.
Just popping out and may even stop by the barbers and get my hair cut.
K.
Posted by: Cyberfriend | Saturday, 24 November 2007
CF, I'm happy for you. I'm excited to hear about your RL adventures! Enjoy your first time events. Get your hair cut or not, doesn't bother me at all. I like you regardless of what you look like - obviously - i think you're good value. Be well. All the best mate. Cheers...
roses
Posted by: roses | Sunday, 25 November 2007
Aww poor Monday! It's not fair!
Posted by: roses | Sunday, 25 November 2007
Busy, busy - buzzy wuzzy, busy as a bee
Busy, busy, buzzy wuzzy busy you and me
Upsy daysy fairly wavy swimming in the sea
Lots and lots of sandy wandy in a day or three
Hope you're keeping up with yourself. When you get a breath and you go to the beach - watch out for those blue bottles! Ouch! They're nasty little beggers. *giggles*
roses
Posted by: roses | Wednesday, 28 November 2007
Tony, don't panic!
I just called 000. When i mentioned your name they said that you are already on the 'missing persons' list and there fore totally getting up their noses ( I think it was donut morning tea day). Apparently others had rung, emailed, smoke signaled, written on windows in the fog, read in tea leaves, or just kept visiting here, and alerted them to your missingness. I showed them your blog and your picture, but your wearing the SUNNIES? Hello! So they couldn't identify you.
So annoying!
If you're bogged down in work - don't panic! No one will come and do it for you... so ... umm...
Actually i have no clue what to do but the men and women and canines in blue are on it.
I wish that were a relief for you, but if it's work, well...
I think it looks like rain again. Err, cheers?
roses
Posted by: roses | Thursday, 29 November 2007
Sorry about not responding earlier Roses,
Been busy with an illnesses in the family
Wet start to summer here
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Saturday, 01 December 2007
Hope your family member(s) gets well and recovers from the illness Tony.
I will send some good vibes from across the pond.
Kahless.
x.
Posted by: kahless | Sunday, 02 December 2007
Ohh Tony! It's truly yucky when that happens.
It's nice to see you back and i hope your family get well soon. Take care. Hope you're ok.
roses
Posted by: roses | Sunday, 02 December 2007
Hi Tony,
Is it really the summer season in Oz ? Must say I'm quite envious as the weather's pretty brutal across here, cold, wet and windy. It gets dark at 1700 hrs when I'm usually wrapping myself up in my igloo nice and cosey like an eccimo.
Hope you and family ok Tony.
Best wishes mate.
Jack
Posted by: Jack | Monday, 03 December 2007
Ooo hi eskimo Jack. You could double for Jack Frost this winter huh? Yeah it's summer down here - don't worry, it should come back around to you again in a few months. We only borrowed if for a few months - yeah, we've booked our turn in and when it expires we'll send it up and over your way.
Tony, I love the wet summer start there and here too!
Hope your family stuff is working out and settling down and you keep up with yourself and the demand that accrues. Cheers Mr Graffiti Sir...
Posted by: roses | Monday, 03 December 2007
Hi Kahless, nick and roses,
Life does gives us trials at times.
Yes jack it is summer here, a coolish start but that's OK. Certainly not eskimo status but it stays light here until 8.00 to 8.30pm. The summer solstice is nearly upon us.
Graffiti
Posted by: Graffiti | Monday, 03 December 2007
Graffiti,
I have been counting off the months until your summer solstice so I can return the comment you left me when it was summer solstice in the uk
:-)
I am an elephant!
A friendly one though, not one that misses the last Rolo.
Posted by: kahless | Tuesday, 04 December 2007
Greetings from the states. Just happened upon your blog and felt compelled to leave a comment (or two). Enjoyed this post and it brings up an interesting dilemma I have had. Being a counselor, I believe I think in a certain manner. No better or more evolved, just different. In my personal relationships I have been told, "Stop being a therapist" numerous times. I have struggled with this accusation and after much thought (and supervision) realize that my therapeutic mindset is more about who I am rather than what I am. I realize due to the stigma of therapy and other's projection I will most likely always hear that statement. Unless I surround myself with other therapists...
Posted by: Jeff | Wednesday, 05 December 2007