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Wednesday, 19 December 2007
Addiction to strokes
In my writing on feelings I talk about the feeling graph. The feeling graph simply explains how the process of feelings occur. Initially some event occurs to which the person has a feeling reaction. With feelings we experience an increase in body tension and our bodies get stimulated with various hormones, many other bodily changes and so forth. In transactional analysis terms we get strokes. Indeed one could say that every time you have a feeling you experience a stroke as it is know. If humans don’t get such psychological strokes then they rapidly deteriorate mentally. They are said to be stroke deprived and can commonly suffer things like depression and so forth.
However it also works the other way as well.
Some people come from backgrounds that are highly emotionally charged over an extended period of time. Such children are raised in homes where there was a high degree of emotional ‘action’ going on. The family members related in such a way that there were regular strong emotions like anger, anxiety, sadness, shame, despair and so forth.
Families teach each of us what level of strokes to live with
Of course this sets up the pattern in life for the child and they in one sense become addicted to this degree of emotion. One could say that this is a good thing because if the person is having a high degree of feelings then they are also getting a high degree of strokes. It is the stroke deprived person that is not in a good psychological condition, so a highly stroked person should be in very good psychological condition. Sometimes this is so and sometimes it is not.
When I see a client who has come from this type of background I say that they live life in the emotional fast lane. The problem is, like everyone else they will continually seek to maintain the same level of strokes that they received throughout childhood. If a person was stroked deprived in childhood then they will tend to create an adult life that is also stroke deprived. If they were highly charged with feelings and strokes in childhood then they will tend to create adult lives that are the same.
A good example of this is the hysteric personality or that individual who is very emotional labile. Their life is full of lots of strong feelings that often come and go quite quickly. This persons life is full of strokes. Would one want to live like that? That is a personal choice to be made. They are however sometimes referred to as ‘small dose’ people because others experience the degree of strokes and the feelings they have as tiring and at times over whelming.
So the high levels of strokes in the person’s life is not a problem in itself. It can become a problem in how they seek to maintain that high level of strokes in adulthood. If a person became a sky diver or sought to climb the highest mountain on earth or joined the special armed forces as a way of maintaining the high stroke level then we as a society see nothing wrong with that at all. In fact we see it as admirable. There are other ways to maintain the high stroke level that are not as productive.
One time when this high stroke and feeling level is a problem is when counseling some people who have a drug problem. Being involved in the drug scene or criminal world in general is exciting and dangerous. Thus it involves a lot of feelings and strokes for those involved. In counseling the ‘addict’ type of drug user this can be a very real problem. For them to stop using drugs they have to move out of that subculture. As soon as they do that then the stroke level rapidly diminishes and as is so often reported by them life rapidly becomes very boring. Of course it is boring to them as the stroke level has decreased by a factor of 10. Working 9 to 5 as a clerk in a shop is not as exciting as pulling off a good sized drug deal!!
From what have seen this is very hard to deal with. Some counselors will suggest that they do other exciting things like extreme sports and so forth. This is a good option but most often does not fill the gap. It is very difficult to fill that stroke and feelings gap that they have lived with their entire lives. In some instances I don’t think it can be filled.
So if you are dealing with an addict type of drug user who is say 25 years old who’s life is full of excitement, pain and strokes then realistically there may not be a cure as life outside the drug scene is just too damn boring. The counseling goal then becomes one of management. The goal is to assist them to stay alive, hopefully out of prison and reasonably healthy for the next 10 years or so. When such an addict type user hits about 35 they start to grow out of the drug user lifestyle for the same reason that got them in there in the first place. The high energy and excitement just becomes too much. They can’t live with that level of energy in their lives forever and I suppose in one sense they burn out. So they slowly drift out of it and find some other way of living that is less dramatic and highly stroke driven.
Graffiti
10:05 Permalink | Comments (17) | Email this
Comments
Yeah Tony,
I get bored of tv programs so fast. They just become the same ol same ol. So annoying! But it's true, it's difficult to finish things that are long running because they loses the excitment. So frustrating!
Ohh by the way.. G'day
roses
Posted by: roses | Wednesday, 19 December 2007
Hi Graffiti,
In a recent post, which was very short, I asked my blog readers to notice the fridge widget I had on my sidebar and to leave me a message.
Someone who only has visited my blog once before left a comment saying I was attention seeking and that I should try and blog for enjoyment! When I first read the comment I was upset then I quickly chilled. Cos I realised I was comfortable with the reasons why I blog and they are not what this guy presumed. Yes the post was asking for interaction, but so what? That isn’t wrong.
And that is my point, not only is there stroke deprivation, but it seems that there are some people who want to reinforce that and tell you that asking for strokes is wrong.
Anyway, hope you are well and prepared for Christmas. It is cold and frosty here, yet you enjoy a lovely summer. Never mind, the solstice is but a few days away.
Posted by: kahless | Thursday, 20 December 2007
Merry christmas Roses,
Your new course of study will certainly keep you from being bored. Indeed the excitment from just doing something new should have plenty of strokes in that
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Thursday, 20 December 2007
That guy who commented on your blog Kahless should go down to the Thames and jump in.
I agree that there are people who see getting strokes as a bad thing like attention seeking. Why? Usually because they themselves have trouble giving or accepting strokes. So instead of acknowleding their own personal problem they redefine it so that asking for strokes is a bad thing for anyone to do.
Most people in the UK, USA and Australia are stroke deprived to some degree, but there is also lots of money to be made in strokes - christmas cards.
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Thursday, 20 December 2007
LOL Tony!
Or actually, maybe sent to the Tower, his head chopped off and then paraded on a pike around old London town!
:-)
I am watching too many period drama's at the moment!
Posted by: kahless | Thursday, 20 December 2007
That sounds good Kahless,
Off with his head.
I remember visiting the tower many years ago I actually have a photograph of me standing outside it
Merry christmas
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Thursday, 20 December 2007
where is that frigding widget thing?
kenoath
Posted by: kenoath | Thursday, 20 December 2007
Hi Ken,
Go to Random Kahless (I'll link below) and it is my lhs side-bar...
Merry Christmas to you all, though I will be back before then....
Posted by: kahless | Thursday, 20 December 2007
Ohh thank you Mr Graffiti sir! And a very Merry Christmas to you and yours too!
AND... thank you. For understanding what I was talking about and addressing my fears with a stroke. I'm so glad you're alive!
roses
Ps Kahless,
Perhaps a beheading would be a tad too quick? You are a merciful one aren't you! Have a great Christmas!
Kenoathy?
*giggles* Fridging widget thing?? So funny! Happy Christmas to you and yours!
Posted by: roses | Friday, 21 December 2007
Your site always provides me with a good healthy dose of revision. Cheers!
Posted by: Queen Vixen | Monday, 24 December 2007
Roses and Kahless, I have enjoyed the year with your comments and contact. Hope your 2008 is a good one and you two get all the strokes you deserve.
I have been away for the past two weeks and get back to Aussie tomorrow, so I will back into more posts I think for sure. I look forward to your visits and visiting your abodes
Happy Holidays as they say in the US of A
Graffiti
Posted by: Tony | Tuesday, 25 December 2007
Happy holidays Queen Vixen.
C U in 2008
Graffiti
Posted by: Tony | Tuesday, 25 December 2007
Tony,
US of A,
How fantastic!
I did manage to sneak in here one more time; about to get in trouble as christmas decorations STILL not up!!!!!! at its 5.30pm christmas eve
:-)
I am a last minute merchant!
Hey, I hope if you ever come to the UK you do let us know as I want to wop your ass at conkers!!
:-)
Merry Christmas again!
Posted by: kahless | Tuesday, 25 December 2007
merry christmas all
from Kenoath.
hugs and love
Posted by: kenoath | Tuesday, 25 December 2007
Best wishes to you Kenoath for the festive season.
I hope santa is good to you and your kin
Graffiti
Posted by: Tony | Tuesday, 25 December 2007
There's a reason that Christmas makes me smile
Lollies and giggles, tickles and piles...
Of funny festive frivilous fantastic fridge fulls of food
Sugar plums and games of thumbs
Screaming billionaire players
Sausages on the barbie
And well wishes from the nicest people on the planet!
Happy Christmas and a VERY merry new year! *giggles*
roses
Ps, travel carefully Tony, safe return home ok? Cheers...
Posted by: roses | Tuesday, 25 December 2007
Hello Roses
Thanks for the poem
I did not know of your talents as a wordsmith.
Best wishes for 2008
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Tuesday, 25 December 2007