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Tuesday, 29 January 2008
Gilly. A case study of winning and non-winning
In Australia a man called Adam Gilchrist (or Gilly for short), a member of the Australian cricket team has just retired. As a cricketer he is of exceptional ability maybe only second to Don Bradman. Apparently he is also a very nice person who everybody likes and so there has been many positive tributes and statements about him by many in the cricket community.
Shane Warne would send something like this via SMS
He has never got into any off field indiscretions like Mr SMS, Shane Warne or any other kind of trouble in his personal life. He is a good married man with a wife and three kids. Indeed in recent times he has publicly stated that he is a “Walker”. This means that if he thinks has gotten out even if the umpire is unsure and thus wont give him out then he will walk, or give himself out. Most cricketers don’t walk. So Gilly is seen as very sportsman like and really plays the game in the spirit it is meant to be played, the gentleman's game.
So he is receiving all sorts of accolades like:
“he is an ornament to the game”,
“he is a cricket icon”
“he is a great role model for young kids”
“he proves you can be a good person and be a great sportsman”
All these sorts of comments are flowing like the champagne at the moment.
So many would see him as a winner I think it is safe to say.
A winner in sport but the love life is another matter?
As it is instructive to do with people sometimes, what would Gilly have been like as a 6 year old boy?
He would be a good boy. He would have his chores done, homework done, bedroom cleaned better than anyone else. He would be smiling and happy and be outside running around and playing. He would be a very low maintenance child for any parent. He would do things in the right place, at the right time and in the right way better than anyone else.
This is why he is a good study on the idea of being a winner or a non-winner. Most 6 year olds who were like that would be seen as having a high level of Conforming Child. For some reason he decided that the way to live life is to work out what parents and authority figures want you to do and then do it with a smile on your face. This will get many positive strokes and people will like you and tell you how good you are. It certainly is a safe way to live life in that people will not confront you and you will not tend to put yourself in high risk situations.
The down side to this the young child tends to not do what it wants in life. It is so busy working out what others want it to do that it never gets to what it actually wants to do. Eventually the child starts to loose touch with its own needs and wants. Its own Free Child gets lost and is forgotten.
Another way to assess a winner is by what they would write on your tombstone. Will Gilly's be, "He was a winner in life" OR "He was an ornament".
These people sometimes seek my counsel in their 40s and I ask them what they want out of life and where are they heading in life and they can’t answer the question. They simply don't know. They will usually give you some answer about what others want them to do. So in this way they are said to live a half life. High CC and low FC. Of course the goal of counselling is for them to again begin to listen to and understand what their own FC wants are. What they actually want out of life.
If you do that then sooner or later what you want and how the world or authority wants you to be, will collide. It is at that point that the child will be a bad boy. For instance the child steals a dollar out of mother’s purse because it wants to buy some lollies. The youngster’s FC and the world collide.
I am a winner!!!
Now I do not want to do Gilly a disservice as I have never met him so I have no idea what he thinks and feels under the surface. It is possible that he was just born with an unusual temperament in this way and that he is meeting a good deal of his FC wants. However he does provide some good insight into how I see winning and non-winning. He certainly is a winner in terms of fame and fortune. But is he a winner in terms of living life to the full, that is a very different matter. If he is high CC then he is a non-winner, then if high FC then he could be a winner.
Graffiti
12:40 Permalink | Comments (7) | Email this
Comments
So what you're saying is that he was/could have been a non-winner when he was 6 but perhaps a winner now? So he may have grown up with a CC but as he matured FC broke out a little which worked out 'winner' for him? Umm, it's all 'perhaps' of course. Well, of course...
roses
Posted by: roses | Tuesday, 29 January 2008
What would generally be the case Roses,
Is that the patterns of behaviour developed in the first 10 years of life carry on through our lives until the day we die. Most never change them.
Yes we do know very little about him. But an adult who always does the right and good thing usually developed that approach to life as a young child. So if the are high CC in childhood then they will more than likely have been high CC in adulthood.
Graffiti
Posted by: Tony | Tuesday, 29 January 2008
Or he may still be high CC and being a "nice" cricketer is what he is supposed to be.
Posted by: Madeleine | Tuesday, 29 January 2008
Hehehe!
Actually is there such thing as a "total" winner???
Posted by: kahless | Tuesday, 29 January 2008
I don't like the 'thing' that seems to come out often - "people don't change". Change is what happens in life. It's natural to change clothes so much so that we go out and buy new clothes when ever we feel the need. We change as we grow, we change as we learn, why can't we change from cc to fc to rc and then back to fc or cc again in a moment? I think i do - what do you think, do I?
Isn't that just a matter of what i feel like at this moment? Some times you say something and i think... "I don't like that!" and react accordingly but other times i just agree because that is what I want to do at the time - doesn't mean i do agree, just that i couldn't be bothered to have another opinion. Then there are the other times when i totally ignore what you've said and just yack about random type anythings.
I'm usually in control and you usually allow that, but it's bugs the bags out of me when you take control. Yeah... you know it!
roses
Posted by: roses | Wednesday, 30 January 2008
I like you Roses and your yakin' as you put it.
I also liked your comment that it;
"bugs the bags out of me"
I must remember that one and use it
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Wednesday, 30 January 2008
See!!
Posted by: roses | Wednesday, 30 January 2008