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Sunday, 11 May 2008
Chairs and counselling
This is my consulting room where I provide wise counsel
I sit in the floral chair on the right and the client usually sits in the one on the left. Sometimes clients pick other chairs and I adjust my sitting position accordingly at least temporarily.
Here is a picture of me providing wise counsel. Notice how empathetic I am and how attuned I am to the client at this point.
Here is a picture of me using humour in the counselling process. I am telling the one about the dyslexic guy who walked into a bra.
This is a picture taken from behind the counsellors chair and looking towards the chair that the client would usually be sitting in.
Notice how the chairs are not actually facing each other but are sitting in parallel. This provides for the narcissistic gap that counsellors require when conuselling over long periods of time
Graffiti
14:50 Permalink | Comments (27) | Email this
Comments
Lucky dyslexic guy! Now... was the bra half full, or half empty?
Posted by: Lynn | Sunday, 11 May 2008
Sorry. Couldn't resist. :-)
Posted by: Lynn | Sunday, 11 May 2008
Sorry Tony, but those eyes !!! They are almost scary !!! If you were my therapist and looked at me across the room, I would run !!!
Posted by: Madeleine | Sunday, 11 May 2008
Ha ha Lynn.
tony
Posted by: Tony | Sunday, 11 May 2008
No Madeleine,
The eyes are full of empathy and attunement
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Sunday, 11 May 2008
Well I guess we will have to agree to disagree, Tony. From your side, empathy and attunement, from this side, ????? !!!
Posted by: Madeleine | Sunday, 11 May 2008
No Madeleine,
You have to agree with me
Graffiti
Posted by: Tony | Sunday, 11 May 2008
I'm actually interested in the picture behind you Tony. It looks interesting. Your counselling room looks comfortable and I think it's more the red in your eyes that might make you look a wee bit scary!! LOL But seem that is only from the photo being taken, I would gather you aren't normally scary at all :-) Still interested in what's in that picture behind you tho!!
KazzaB
Posted by: KazzaB | Sunday, 11 May 2008
Animating indeed Grafitti. You have been very productive on your blog today.
I kind of like those demonic red eyes and can't help but think you are in some kind of beneficial transition at the moment.
all the best
kenoath
Posted by: kenoath | Sunday, 11 May 2008
"I am telling the one about the dyslexic guy who walked into a bra."
You look like you are trying hard not to laugh at your own joke Graf.
I note the box of tissue beside you!!!
And what is the narcissistic gap ??
Posted by: Kahless | Sunday, 11 May 2008
Well KazzaB it is a picture of a school desk top out of perspective.
Yes it is a very good picture from an artist where I live.
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Sunday, 11 May 2008
The narcissistic gap Kahless is that emotional gap that the therapist keeps between the client and them self.
In my early counselling days I used to go through a box of tissues each week. Now one box lasts a month. Interesting change
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Sunday, 11 May 2008
Maybe it has something to do with a greater use of humour?
Posted by: Kahless | Sunday, 11 May 2008
Well it could be Kahless,
Better to have the client laughing than crying?
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Sunday, 11 May 2008
Definately. I'd go for a laugh aove a tear anyday.
Posted by: Kahless | Sunday, 11 May 2008
Aren't your clients supposed to ly down and you're supposed to sit behind them? I have so watched too much telly! Aren't your clients supposed to do the talking? And i don't get the joke. Ohhhhhhh! instead of a bar?
Do people ever sit in the chairs behind you? They look comfy.
So - people just walk in to that room and talk to you - a perfect stranger - about personal stuff. I don't understand how that works. I would be terrified. And not just because of your red eyes - just because i wouldn't have a clue what to do or how to be. Do you get nervous at all Tony?
roses
Posted by: roses | Monday, 12 May 2008
Now I understand the true nature of attunement lol! Do you feel more attuned in glasses?
Thank you Tony, you are a real gem.
And what are those strange white boxes, have they been left by aliens?
Posted by: Hullaballoo | Tuesday, 13 May 2008
Glad you got the joke Roses!
Yes many people just walk and tell me, the stranger, very personal stuff. That can happen in the first session of 5 sessions later depending on the person and how much they feel they can trust the therapist and what sort of connection they feel with the therapist.
I wouldn't say I get nervous Roses.
Roses you say:
"I would be terrified. And not just because of your red eyes - just because i wouldn't have a clue what to do or how to be."
People say this sort of stuff and it means that they feel like they have to run the show or do the right thing, when really it is the therapists responsibility to do that. Let the therapist take that role and that can mean that the person has a hard time allowing them self into the not in control role.
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Tuesday, 13 May 2008
Yes Hullaballoo,
the glasses do add to the degree of attunement.
I am not sure what white boxes you are referring to my friend?
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Tuesday, 13 May 2008
Tony,
Yes - you have it. Once an entertainer, always the entertainer i'm afraid. Control of the environment is the/an issue. But my guess is that you would understand that being a lecturer and a counselor. It's the 'pass the batten' thing. The person with the batten is the one in control. (ohh - now i understand why it's good for you to go to therapy too!)
Ohh that's a load off. So I wouldn't need to be frightened at all then? Do all therapists know to be in control? Cause i could work with that. Do you let the client know that you're the one in control? Umm, let them know verbally that is. It would make the whole thing much easier to be in someone's care if they let you know that's what the situation is. I guess its the same with the catharsis and the egos. It should be my choice which ego state has the battan shouldn't it?
Like the government. They think they're in control and in essence we trust them in their place. Its just that we - the majority of the population have for some reason forgotten that they are not in control. We are. We allow them to have the control and vice versa.
Umm, kind of like... we're all holding hands in a circle and walking around and around. Every one is wearing a hat with words on it like.. prime minster, teacher, mother, soldier, captain, policeman, student, nurse, supermarket check out person etc. Where does the circle start? Who's the one in control of the next step? Well, everyone in the circle i guess. Not any one person can make a decision for the whole circle or either the circle stops or brakes. We're all just doing what we do - which has nothing really to do with who we are as individuals does it?
Gosh - i have to go and read a book. We've another assessment on Thursday. It's amazing Tony, just mentioning that just then, i felt every muscle in my body tense. My jaw up to the temples and my forehead just stretched tight. So strange!
roses
Posted by: roses | Tuesday, 13 May 2008
Tony,
I think i'd prefer the chairs to be side by side and watching fish swim in a tank. Then you wouldn't be talking at me but with me and vice versa. There's probably a reason for the way you have your room set up that i don't know or understand yet. Gosh - next semester i'm hoping to do my first Psych subject! I'm so excited!
roses
Posted by: roses | Tuesday, 13 May 2008
Hope you go well in your test on Thursday Roses,
If a client is seeking to take control of the theraputic situation then I may indeed bring that up and discuss the matter.
Obviously most do that because the Child with in scared and to feel safe they seek to take control.
I would simply invite the client to experience what it is like to give up their control and pass the 'batten' over to me for a while. the up side of that is it is very tiring to always be in control and thus they sometimes experience considerable relief when they truly let it go.
tony
Posted by: Tony | Tuesday, 13 May 2008
I like that Roses,
Sitting side by side with a client and watching the fish swim in the fish tank then as you say I would be taking with you.
And that means we would truly be in the relational roses
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Tuesday, 13 May 2008
Yes Tony.
Very tiring! You must get very tired. I hope you know how to take your hat off at the end of a day (the hat with 'therapist' on it - the hat which designates 'what you do', not 'who you are').
I also hope that Wednesday is behaving well for you. Cheers... roses
Posted by: roses | Wednesday, 14 May 2008
Yes Roses,
I have never had trouble taking off my therapists hat at the end of the day.
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Wednesday, 14 May 2008
My best friend's dad lost his license because he was too attuned to his patients. LOL
Posted by: ^~^ | Thursday, 15 May 2008
I guess that happens sometimes ^~^. I'm really sorry to hear that, because when we hear things like that we tend to make judgments on everyone in the profession rather than the individual who forgot he/she is supposed to be ethical in practice.
I was wondering ^~^ - do you have a blog? Are you able to tell us so we can pop in and maybe visit it? It's ok if you're too shy just yet - its all good.
roses
Posted by: roses | Friday, 16 May 2008