Sunday, 28 December 2008
Parent ego state tapes
I am writing a part for a book and need to include a piece about the Parent ego state. A section of which I have enclosed below. As you can see it is about how the Parent ego state is a collection of tapes. I was wanting to include some examples. Is there anyone out there who can give me some of their own experiences or even back channel them to me.
What attitudes or behaviors or things you say and do that are similar to what your parents did when you were a child. You may find your self parenting in the same way you were parented, or if you had a critical father you tend to be critical yourself. You may be critical of others your you may express that criticism to yourself. What behaviors, values, thoughts and feelings have you imitated or copied from your parents? They may possibly be included in what I am writing.
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The Parent ego state is where we have modelled on parent type figures in our life. So it is where we have our values and morals about life. When we have our own children we sometimes find that we are doing and saying things to our own children that were said to us. These are all in our Parent ego state.
The Parent ego state can be seen as a collection of tapes one has in their head that one has copied or learned from parent type figures in his life. This could be mother and father or an older sibling or some other person like a grandparent or an uncle who has had an impact on the young child as he was growing up.
This can be drawn as in diagram 2. This shows how the Parent ego state is a collection of audio and video tapes that are slotted into the person’s head. These are copied by the young child and in this case ther are four major ones. This process is inevitable due to the imitative instinct. Each of us will insticntually copy others around us and in childhood that will particularly include parent figures as they are of extra importance to us. As a result as one grows up and becomes a parent themself one can find self saying things to the children that are the same as was said to them.
Diagram 2
This copying process continues through out ones entire life so the Parent ego state is constantly being updated. However usually the strongest and loudest tapes come from early childhood and it is therefore these ones that mainly influence the individuals behaviour. Often they are quite critical tapes and one ends up with a large ‘internal critic’ that sits in the back of their head and judges what they do each day. They can be changed in adulthood with the inclusion of new noncritical tapes that will counter the highly critical ones from years ago.
Graffiti
14:11 Permalink | Comments (45) | Email this | Tags: ego states, parenting, child development, psychology
Comments
Hi Tony
I remember looking after my niece and nephew and expecting them to be how my parents, especially Dad had expected us to be. Which was probably more like little adults, than children. I think the Parental message in my head was that children should be seen and not heard, that they should always be polite and I remember being so upset with myself because I knew I was acting like Dad would with them. They were only 4 and 6 at the time. It's that awareness that you know where the message is coming from but almost a powerlessness to stop it because that's what you know and what's been drilled into your head. Dad was very critical and I remember being that way with the kids and hating that I was.
Don't know if that's helpful but I don't mind helping if I can with what you're writing.
Posted by: KazzaB | Sunday, 28 December 2008
I love this post. It reaffirms my belief that adults should not suck up to their parents. People who have abusive or very critical parents who have not changed much over the years, have many reasons not to pal up with them the way society encourages them to do. If the critical and negating mouths of the parents are still running in the present, it is that much more difficult to include new noncritical tapes with any real validity. Even so, society seems to demand that adults keep their parents a huge priority in their lives. I think it is better to include the parents only in direct proportion to those parents' attitudes and behaviours. Some people are better off NOT spending a lot of time with their parents and this post really illuminates how that could be.
Posted by: Ethereal Highway | Sunday, 28 December 2008
Now your questions are too tempting not to have a go at answering, but I havent awoken yet and do need a think.
I can think of some examples straight away...
I'll be back, as Arnie would say.
Posted by: Kahless | Sunday, 28 December 2008
Thanks KazzaB,
That is a good example and a good help.
yes the messages copied from mother and father are strong indeed as I think you show. Even when we know we are doing them and still find it hard to stop
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Sunday, 28 December 2008
Hello Lynn,
Happy holidays to you and your kin.
You will get no argument with me on your point. I agree that some parents are too 'toxic' as they sometimes say in this business and thus distance is the only real solution.
There is also some occasions in psychotherapy where simply writing parents (people ) off is perhaps a bit too rash as well
Cheers for 2009
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Sunday, 28 December 2008
What behaviors, values, thoughts and feelings have you imitated or copied from your parents?
Mrs K immediately said, when I asked her, "you stand in front of the tv looking vacant, like your father." What she means is that I get up from the bed (or sofa), get distracted, stand still and go off into my own world, but end up in front of the tv so no-one else can view the screen. Then cos I am in my own world it takes a few seconds to get my attention, to get me to shift!
Then obviously there is all the religious stuff. If I see a hearse with a coffin in the street pass me by, I always make the sign of the cross and say a prayer for the dead. Have to, it is so ingrained in me. My father used to always do it.
Not a copied behaviour but a very strong message... I was around 6 or 7 and my brother was making a drink. I said "can I have a coffee please" He said "you do not drink coffee." I have never drunk coffee to this day. I remember him saying that to me, crystal clear.
I too had the messages, though I dont voice them I can hear the commands in my head, even as an adult...
"children should be seen and not heard."
"do as you are told"
"you mustn't make a fuss"
"I [parent] am the boss"
"if you dont do x then you wont get y"
"if you dont stop doing x then God wont love you"
"you are lazy"
"you ask too many questions"
"you always stick your head in the sand"
I could go on and on with the critical voice. But I have only voiced them openly I think twice in my life (in reference to myself) and on both occaisions the result was 'horror'; not literally but with two different people and the look in their eyes, well, I knew to shut the fuck up. But if you want me to write it - only if it will help your book - shout and I will.
Funny though, I get critical of being critical about myself. I hear my brother saying "you are attention seeking" or "you are being self indulgent." Yes, being self-critical seems to be an indulgence otherwise why would we do it.
On my behaviours on the naughty side, I can be like my father and be a wind up merchant. I try not to do it often, but I can push and push until someone lashes back at me. Maybe a level of satisfaction in getting a reaction. Or maybe a masochistic streak where I can think "see, I knew you didnt like me." I think I have done it on your blog before now!!! *red faced*
Something I used to do, but Mrs K has stopped me from doing it to this great extent these days, is running away! If we had an argument I would get my coat and leave. Maybe gone for hours. My mother used to do that. When I was single and pissed off (even when I lived alone) I would go off into the night and sleep under a bush or somewhere else. Guess I am too old for that now! These days I just lock myself in the bathroom!
When really pushed into a corner (I hate arguments and would rather run away) as a last desperate measure I break something. My mother used to throw things at my dad. I throw them at myself. Gave myself a black eye with an alarm clock a year or so ago.
My preference is if I am pissed off with someone, I avoid them. Which was my mums preference I guess.
Now food was a funny one with my parents. I had to eat the food I was given, like vegetables/ liver (yuck.) I had to ask permission to get food from the cupboard between meals. As an adult, I eat what I want, when I want to eat it. No-one tells me what I can and cant eat. I am very particular about that. A non-negotiable. So that is the opposite to the parental messages. Now if you ask people, I am one of the fastest eaters out there. In fact I think I always finish eating first. Ask anyone. Not 100% sure where that comes from. Definately a family trait.
Anyway, enough for now. Let me know if you want me to expand on anything and I will do so happily.
Posted by: Kahless | Monday, 29 December 2008
My dad would always see things. Like how blue the sky is or why one bird is doing that while all the others aren't.
We would sit for hours (well the first few times and it seemed like hours) and learn to draw houses in perspective then streets then cars. I remember him coming by to check on my endeavours, pointing out this and praising me for that. I think that was when i learned people's differering perspectives and that they're not necessarily wrong - but just at a different place, that's all. I still forget that one a lot. It's ok, i have it in me - just would like to remember to use it more.
He showed me that when we draw a tree, that even though you can't see (or notice) all of the branches, they still continue on up into the sky. Though they're covered by the leaves, they're still there. And when looking at a near by tree through a window or frame we can't always see the whole thing but the whole tree is still there, it's just that we can't see it.
Could never really draw a person, how can you draw something you know but can't really see? A person Tony, is someone not a something. It's difficult do draw that and my dad says that people aren't usually what you see and it takes time to know them. That's the fun bit.
He tought us how to get down a tree, simply by remembering how we got up. And how that's like life, remembering how we got up to 'here' and when going back down to get to another branch (but usually because dinner was ready), believe that the branches we walked on are still there - step on them keep reaching till you find them again and climb back down. Just believe, if not in the tree then in yourself. If all else fails, find a new way - where there's a will there is always a way. Just believe.
I was a lot like my dad with my boys i think. Gosh they're clever kids (men). I remember when our youngest was at odds with himself at around 14 i think. He was beginning to be a muso but was having conflicting feelings about that because his elder brother was becoming a very good muso at the time. We had a friend who had budgies to give us one of the budgie orphans and we (he and I) hand rared the chick who became one of his closest friend. Budgie died in 2008 this year. He was 11 years old.
We also began art lessons. It was freezing and we were out in a kind of old open type shed. Began with oils, but soon he took up his bass again and ended up going to uni for his Bmus in bass.
My mum was always busy and we are lazy and nothing we do is any good. We don't look, behave... we're just not good for much. I am not what she wanted, and i guess by now, never will be. I have shamefully often treated my whole family this way. I am a bad person. It makes me angry and sad all the time.
Posted by: roses | Monday, 29 December 2008
Roses,
funny your comment came through on my email, but not appearing on my view of this post. Maybe by the time I have written this...
I wanted to reach out and say "you are not a bad person"
then I realised if someone said that to me, I would think "you dont know the fuck about me" so I wont say it.
But I hope you appreciate the sentiment that I am trying to convey.
from
another bad person.
Posted by: Kahless | Monday, 29 December 2008
Kahless, from one bad person to another *giggles* (so funny this thought wave) I will brazenly declare that you are not a bad person it's just, the decisions we make so often i think. We've been told we are useless, ugly, fat, lazy, worthless, dumb, from such a young age and for some strange reason we (well 'I') believe it.
I can choose to be bad a any time i like and have been so toward the people i love the most because i wasn't thinking at the time. That's when it happens the most ("the most" sometimes i am deliberately bad - i wouldn't scar my kids like that deliberately though).
I really love my dad and i really love my mum. I just can't listen to her much. When i'm dilligent like she is (was) i become a monster who's cruel and nagging. So weird. I just pick and pick - and i don't want to be like that so i'm careful what i think. I just can't think like her often that's all.
I'm beginning to learn some things about how i think. It's like, when i'm getting work and stuff done it makes me feel angry, impatient, frustrated and i start pecking everyone in the face with my words and attitude. That's why i used to like doing house work and washing etc, at night - because they were all in bed and by the time i woke up in the morning, i was rested and calm again. So weird. But now that i have to be in bed when my hubby is - i don't function well. So strange!
Dilligence and anger seem to have to exist at the same time. I don't understand why, but it's just the way it is. AND it makes a lot of sense - cause i have watched that stuff with so many people and it's the same with them too.
Tony?
Is that the way it works? When i'm doing something or going somewhere or what ever... it arkes up parts of the memory ego state thingys? So... like... when i'm in the boat fishing - i remember and feel as though i'm sitting on the river bank or wharf fishing with my dad. Peaceful and quite.
But when i'm working in the house i'm with my mum angry and impatient, picky and annoyed - just getting this job done because there are a thousand other jobs that are screaming out at her?
My poor mum would never ever get to finish what she needed to do - and she was the only grown up to do it all. We were just little kids. My mum is amazing!
Posted by: roses | Monday, 29 December 2008
Roses,
I am glad I made you giggle and I am glad I dont have kids. I reckon that not only would I end up passing on the shit that I have from prior generations, but create some shit of my own to add!!!! lol!
Been googling all my bad habits tonight; not a good one to do!!! I am definately a nutter lol!!!!!!
So we've "been told we are useless, ugly, fat, lazy, worthless, dumb, from such a young age and for some strange reason we (well 'I') believe it."
Does that mean we tell the next generation that too cos we are caught up in it all?????? I hope not.
What stops someone from passing the shit to the next generation?
I wonder, are there some that pass more NP than CP or is it the human condition to be all CP?
Posted by: Kahless | Monday, 29 December 2008
When i went to my first TA101 Kahless, our instructor (ohh gosh that sounds like she was excluded) just stopped and thought like heaps before she answered the question and thought all the while she was answering it. I just don't think that much.
I remember i was humming down our hall on the way passed the bathroom and my older sisters bedroom one day - i was about 7-8 maybe? I'd heard her playing her records earlier and one of the songs got stuck in my head (An old song called - Dizzy) I didn't know all the words so i hummed some of the song. As i was just passing her room, she flung the door open and eye balled me in a rage and yelled, "IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE WORDS! DON'T SING THE SONG!" then slammed the door as i quickly raced the next couple of feet to my room and closed the door. Phew! She was so mad at me!
As a vocalist it's pretty important to know the words of the song. But she has taught me that the most important thing about singing a song is why one does it. She made me think that if it isn't fun, then it may not be worth doing at all.
I think i have to learn that being busy is something that can be done because one likes to do it. Other than that, it doesn't have to be this big load of pressure but instead a whole load of pleasure having finished a job - perhaps not perfectly - and making time to relax to enjoy it.
My mother was brought up in Japan, born to a relatively poor family but adopted out to a rich mumma in the city. She was trained strictly because there was a lot of entertaining rich people. She grew up under great pressure. I understand that.
I would like to know how to take the heaps of very valuable lessons i've learned from her, detach them from the feelings of anger, restentment, pressure and build them into my life.
I too wonder about that Kahless. I'm going to do it, then help others do it too.
You ask the best questions! I so appreciate that!
Posted by: roses | Monday, 29 December 2008
I ask too many question remember Roses lol!!!!!!
Yet I adore asking questions... and love it even more when someone takes the time and effort to answer them. Makes me feel worthy!!!!
Anyway, cant help but ask some more now!
Now I get the impression from your prior comments that you are proud of your kids? And you care about them and love them very much? To nuture them, surely you have already applied the valuable lessons that you have learnt? even if subconscious? Taken the good and weeded out the bad?
And as much as I am not a liker of feelings (damn things that get in the way lol!) it is our passion that can become the strongest of all messages?
If I am passionate about something, does that not transcend other subliminal messages? And is not passion +ve?
Passion =love?
Maybe you need to express to your mother your anger, restentment and pressure. Even if that is in pretend world (2 chair) rather than real life?
Then you will see beyond it. Role play is hard at first, then you dont give a shit after a while. Do you do it on 101?
You are a very bright woman Roses.
Posted by: Kahless | Monday, 29 December 2008
Oh and why do they call it 101?
Why not
"TA first course"
or
"TA 1"
???
I thought yesterday about writing a post full of questions I have about life, the universe, and other shit! Things I have tried to puzzle out and not got an answer, like
why do dogs not have as long a life span as humans?
Posted by: Kahless | Monday, 29 December 2008
Your are spot on in your assumption of my relationship with our sons. Yes - it's easy to do the nurturing stuff. Its easy to love. Mostly - its nice too.
I don't know if nurturing a child is a learned thing or a natural thing. I am so not like my mother or father - infact i'm not like any of my family. Even they (my brother and sisters) wonder what planet i fell from. I nurture birds, dogs.. other animals as i would their mothers. One first needs to understand their mothers though. That's learning. But to love and nurture a child well i think that's pretty natural.
Sometimes though, learning can get in the way. And learning comes out when the children get older. Its not always a good learning they get (especially when i'm in a fit of anger at the time) for them and i hope i learn in time to help them learn about themselves so they can help their kids learn about themselves.
I am proud of my Men. I am always proud of my Men. I keep telling them (when they ask if they've dissapointed us) that it's impossible because all they had to do was 'be' and that makes me the happiest person ever. Yes i worry, but how can i be dissappointed in them if they aren't finished yet? If they died right now - my life was made that much more complete because of them. And they know it.
They can't lose. They win every which way - no matter what's going on around and in their lives. Regardless of how things seem - they can not lose. Not in a competitative way - just in life.
Thank you for reminding me of that Kahless.
And...
I think i'll have a go at that 2 chair thing. I talk to my self all the time Kahless. Always have - now i'm beginning to understand why. It's to hear my thoughts and to choose which ones i want to be in the hear and now with.
Question?
Is that why they put people who talk to themselves into the 'crazy' box, hindering us from doing that? They don't want us to be living in the here and now - they want us to behave how we've been taught to (AC and CP)?
Happy New Year!
Posted by: roses | Monday, 29 December 2008
Kahless,
You do understand that i'm just writing what ever comes into my head right now don't you? What i say here may not necessarily be so - it's just what i'm thinking/feeling while my fingers are on the keyboard.
Posted by: roses | Monday, 29 December 2008
Usually there is a fair bit of shame and guilt rattling around with regard to the Parent ego state.
My mum would always claim that her peas were overcooked in the beautiful meals that she served up. There was always some apect of dinner that had to be a failure. It was quite a ritual.
kenoath
Posted by: kenoath | Monday, 29 December 2008
My dad who is into Psychology was very 'hot' in this type of parent ego state ruling you thing...
i kinda disagree..
i firmly beleive if we give enough time of emanicipation to ourselves, we kinda mould our personality according to what we think is right and normal.
Ok, the tapes do play at times but so does my thoughts of why i think that is the wrong way.
I am nothing like my parents.They are definitely good people but kind of people where their work defines who they are.
I am a proud homemaker, they view me as a loser...
may be i a just a rebel!
Shruti
Posted by: shruti | Tuesday, 30 December 2008
i am ...correction
Posted by: shruti | Tuesday, 30 December 2008
Roses,
I talk to myself alot; best conversation I get lol!!!
And yes, I hear what youre saying.
Kenoath,
a lot of shame and guilt?? Not sure I see that.
Shruti,
We are the genetics of our parents and forebears.
Our parents were around us and dominant over us in our most formative years. How can they not have a chunk of influence left over us today in our thoughts, feelings, behaviours etc
In ways I am the opposite of my parents, but I am so like them in so many other ways. In ways I dont even notice.
Posted by: Kahless | Tuesday, 30 December 2008
Kahless, even being the opposite is part of their influence. We choose to do things differently, through our Parent ego state.
Posted by: gezunda | Tuesday, 30 December 2008
Thanks for the Parent ego state tape examples Kahless,
they are most useful.
Like you I often end up finishing my food before others. I wonder what would happen if you were eating together. I sounds like it would be a very short meal!!
Cheers
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Tuesday, 30 December 2008
Hi Roses,
Thank you for your example of the Parent ego state. It will be most useful.
You certainly are a good drawer so it seems your father taught you well.
Tony
Posted by: Graffiti | Tuesday, 30 December 2008
Hi Tony,
Given Gezunda has eaten with both of us, we should ask her how our gobbling rates compare.
Given she has already commented on my speed of eating, my money is on me!!!
(not that I am competitive you know.)
;-)
Posted by: Kahless | Tuesday, 30 December 2008
Roses you say
"Tony?
Is that the way it works? When i'm doing something or going somewhere or what ever... it arkes up parts of the memory ego state thingys?"
That is exactly right. Different activities or situations will result in us responding from different ego states. The key is to be able to respond from most ego states and then make decisions about which one you will respond from in a particular situation
Graffiti
Posted by: Graffiti | Tuesday, 30 December 2008
So Roses,
you want to have a go at the 2 chair thing. I could do that with you here on this blog if you want to?
Graffiti
Posted by: Graffiti | Tuesday, 30 December 2008
Hello Shruti,
Good to hear that you are a rebel.
Yes the Parent ego state is only one third of our personality and thus we are never just clones of our parents because we have a Child and Adult ego state which make our use of the Parent tapes different
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Tuesday, 30 December 2008
Hello Kahless,
yep you probably are the fastest eater in the west!
i will settle for second place
Tony
Posted by: Graffiti | Tuesday, 30 December 2008
Hey Grafitti, you must have a few examples of your own Parent tapes?
This is a good example where two chair works very well dont you think?
kenoath
Posted by: kenoath | Tuesday, 30 December 2008
Yes kenoath,
Two chair would work well with the Parent ego state tapes as you say
Graffiti
Posted by: Graffiti | Tuesday, 30 December 2008
"you want to have a go at the 2 chair thing. I could do that with you here on this blog if you want to?"
Tony, if that's even possible?... yep, i'll have a go.
Posted by: roses | Wednesday, 31 December 2008
Yes Roses,
I have never done 2 chair on a blog before but we could give it a go.
You need to present some issue. Where two ego states are in conflict.
I have to go out for an hour now
Graffiti
Posted by: Tony | Wednesday, 31 December 2008
I'm going to bed now Tony.
We have had our grandson sleeping (and i use the term 'sleeping' very loosely!) over last night, tonight and tomorrow night. I can't believe i used to do the night feeds every night and still function some how! Holy Smokes Tony - it's just... well, not an easy thing to do. But we did it back then somehow, didn't we? Wow!
Perhaps in the morning?
Are you out partying? If so... Happy New Year and have a heap of fun!
Happy New Year Everyone! I hope it's a doozy for all. Cheers...
Posted by: roses | Wednesday, 31 December 2008
Happy New Year to you too Roses. And to Tony, Kenoath, Gez, Kahless and everyone else in Blogland.
Cheers.........Kazza
Posted by: KazzaB | Wednesday, 31 December 2008
Happy new year to you too KazzaB and Roses
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Wednesday, 31 December 2008
Happy new year y'all. You'll be there in about 4 hours where I'm going to have to wait most of the day still. I still find that hilarious. I remember watching the new year come in in 1999/2000. Remember all the hype about whether the world would end when all the computers failed. I was in Sydney and we watched the year change in NZ and then in Australia and then gradually around the world the next day. I found it fascinating to watch for some reason.
Posted by: gezunda | Wednesday, 31 December 2008
TA...Wow, brings back old memories and I still have my book.
My parent ego state is a mess. Due to a emotional abandonment, verbal, physical and sadistic sexual abuse, I have internalized so much of what I was told or shown especially from my mother who didn't want me and at best was ambivalent. She has a severe untreated borderline personality disorder.
Between her abuse and others, I felt her hatred toward me, and that I was the cause of all her problems. There was also the constantly being told that I was "bad, evil, etc." Tarot cards were used to reinforce it and goodness was placed in me as a reason for the sexual abuse. The devil had to be beaten out of me and salt was placed under my bed to absorb my badness. Obviously, the list could go on.
I have internalized into my identity that I am bad and evil. I can make everything go to that place if I am fragmenting. It is automatic too. I grew up thinking that something was wrong with me. I can still hear her yelling at me and her interaction with me now is directly hostile, passive-aggressive, or ignoring.
The words that I heard growing up along with the abuse reinforcing it the tapes are very loud and are extremely difficult to overcome. But, I am working hard in therapy and am on medications. It is worth it, but difficult for me to see how much damage has been done.
I'm not plugging my blog, but if you read my side bar information you will have better context into what I have written.
Thanks for listening,
CC
Posted by: ClinicallyClueless | Wednesday, 31 December 2008
Hello Clincallyclueless,
Thanks for your comment and thoughts about the Parent ego state. I assume that you at one point were involved in some TA therapy. Where and when if I may ask?
Oh, and you don't sound to clinicallyclueless to me
Graffiti
Posted by: Graffiti | Thursday, 01 January 2009
Hi Gez,
I also recall NYE of 2000. A friend of mine was convinced that civilization was going to end on that night. So he and a number of his friends bought lots of supplies and headed out to camp at Ayers rock to avoid the disaster.
I wonder if he is still there?
graffiti
Posted by: Tony | Thursday, 01 January 2009
Hi Tony,
Actually, it is my schooling and background. College was undergrad counseling...all the theories inside and out from individual to group to family. I've also worked in the mental health field and as social worker for almost 20 years. I've always seen TA in all of the theories, but the postitions are called different things. I've been in my own therapy for 17 years. The clueless part comes from my therapist saying that I can be so clinically, but when it comes to myself I can be clueless.
Take care,
CC
Posted by: ClinicallyClueless | Thursday, 01 January 2009
Hello CC,
Yes it is interesting how the different theories use different terms. I suppose they are all discussing the same thing - human personality - but using different words.
You seem to have an interesting blog that shows a lot of understanding of the field
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Thursday, 01 January 2009
Tony,
Thank you for visiting my blog. Yes, I do have much understanding of the field; however, that does not heal one's self. LOL!! I'm coming along and hope to remain in the mental health field and go back to school. Good luck with this research. Feel free to contact me.
CC
Posted by: ClinicallyClueless | Thursday, 01 January 2009
Awww Ken,
"My mum would always claim that her peas were overcooked in the beautiful meals that she served up. There was always some apect of dinner that had to be a failure. It was quite a ritual. "
I hope you all fussed about the peas! You must have seen back then that the net she was throwing out was a stroke catcher. My mum had the most amount of stoke catching devices - so cute!
Because she is Japanese she would tell us - "It's nice!" - in a very abrupt kind of way. Anyone who knew her understood the translation = "I hope you like it. Is it nice? Do you like it? but mainly - Do you like my love for you?". We were pretty good at fussing over her 'loving us' - it was easy - boy! could she ever cook good! Anyone - visitors and friends - would just sit there nodding obediently *giggles* so funny to watch.
So cute!
Posted by: roses | Friday, 02 January 2009
I must agree CC that understanding and knowledge does not mean one changes how they feel and behave. If it was only that simple!
tony
Posted by: Tony | Friday, 02 January 2009
Yes, if only. Then, we would all be out of a job. But, isn't that the thing...we are supposed to be trying to work ourselves out of work!! But, alas...it will never be.
CC
Posted by: ClinicallyClueless | Friday, 02 January 2009
Yes sometimes I too will cite that one CC,
My job is to put myself out of a job.
Having just witnessed another christmas and the family dynamics that go on, I concur that I am going to be employed for a long time
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Sunday, 04 January 2009
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