Tuesday, 24 February 2009
My imaginary friend
As a child did you ever have an imaginary friend?
I never did.
I have been in the therapy business for 20 years so there is not much that comes up new but there was one today. Sometimes I get a new one that grabs the attention.
This woman was reporting to me an event in her childhood, with great grief and angst. She was about 6 years old and she had this teddy bear that was her best friend. She used to sit and play all sorts of games with it and she would have long discussions with it and it would talk back to her.
My imaginary friend did it!
One day she was playing in her bedroom and for some reason her father was there and he was angry at her. Eventually he grabbed the bear from her and threw it against the wall and the teddy bear’s head fell off.
So by this time I am conscientiously hold back my smile, and managing to maintain a serious look of empathy.
Well she was shattered and in a state of disbelief at what her father had done. She took the bear to her mother and showed her the terrible event. Her mother sought to console her considerable distress and told her it would be all right as she sewed the head back on.
So by now I am smiling but still managing to maintain the decency not to laugh.
So the bear was repaired and life got back to normal. Then the woman stated that ever since that event the bear never ever spoke to her again. It was punishing her for making her father get angry and knocking the its head off
Ok, so by now I am laughing!
Then finally after we both calmed down she said that the bear did actually talk to her one more time many years later but she said that it spoke in a adults voice not a child’s.
Graffiti
16:21 Permalink | Comments (44) | Email this
Comments
Cheeky!!
Posted by: roses | Tuesday, 24 February 2009
Yes you are Roses,
yes you are
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Tuesday, 24 February 2009
Hmm, I don't get it. Sorry.
Posted by: Harriet | Tuesday, 24 February 2009
Cute story though a bit sad.
As a kid I thought having an imaginary friend would be cool. I never really took it super seriously though. There was an imaginary horse who'd come to school with me and tiny people who lived in a makeup compact under my bed. I don't really remember doing much with them other than telling other people about them so I think it was more for show than anything:P
Posted by: Lee | Tuesday, 24 February 2009
Hello Harriet,
I'm not too sure that I get it either, it was just something that happened at work today.
it was one of those situations that psychotherapists find themselves in from time to time. A person is telling you a story that is of great angst to them. It just happens to also be very funny from another point of view.
To have an imaginary friend who is thrown against a wall only to have it head fall off. Then it is taken to mother to have the head sewn back on. Then the imaginary friend refuses to talk with you ever again because it is angry at you.
That is funny in one way at least!
Tony
Posted by: Graffiti | Tuesday, 24 February 2009
Hi Lee,
I think that you would be a great person to have imaginary friends, with all those wigs and all.
Why not have one now!
Perhaps adults should have more imaginary friends and the world would be a better place.
Graffiti
Posted by: Tony | Tuesday, 24 February 2009
I don't think it's funny at all, and it makes me sad that you think it's funny and that you laughed during a patient's story that gave her great angst. I think if my therapist laughed while I told him a traumatic story I wouldn't ever go back.
What was your patient's reaction to your laughter?
I'm so sad reading this.
Posted by: Harriet | Tuesday, 24 February 2009
Hi Harriet,
What can I say?
I have a Free Child as well and I think it is safe to say that it is a funny story.
Yes it wasn't empathic and studious.
I have know her for about 6 months and we get on well. She likes me and I like her. We both ended up laughing loudly.
But it could have been very different if my Free Child had not been tickled. But she knows I am on her side, as I am.
Am I meant to suppress my Free Child to that extent?
I would have had to fake a coughing fit so I could leave the room to compose myself.
Nah I am not going to do that!
Cheers
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Tuesday, 24 February 2009
Well I do talk to myself a lot. I could just pretend it was to an imaginary friend. But then I'd probably end up with a schizophrenia diagnosis.
It's interesting that for a kid to do that is normal
But an adult well let's go diagnose that.
Posted by: Lee | Wednesday, 25 February 2009
I guess it's just me - I'm too sensitive, or so I've been told. I don't think it's safe to say it was a funny story, but of course I wasn't there.
Or maybe I don't have a free child, my inner child is all grown up.
I'm not sure. I don't see a single thing funny about the story, but we're all different and that's what makes the world go round so they say.
Posted by: Harriet | Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Well I suppose that is true Lee, Grown up people are not allowed to have imaginary friends.
Maybe they can still if they do things like write stories. Maybe Harry Potter is JKR's imaginary friend. Or maybe people who make YouTube videos are playing with imaginary friends sometimes.
All the best
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Well you raise a good point Harriet,
A debateable area of can the therapist show their Child responses in the counselling. If a counsellor is angry at a client should he say so or not. If a therapist feels sad by hearing a client's story should he shed a tear or hold it in.
My Free Child found her story funny in one way so should I have held that in or displayed it?
I think I can safely say Harriet that you inner child is not all grown up.
Thanks for your comments they are appreciated
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Wednesday, 25 February 2009
I do use my imagination but I have never had an imaginary friend per se.
Posted by: Kahless | Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Well I look forward Kahless to meeting your new imaginary friend.
Maybe you could call her Lara.
Graffiti
Posted by: Tony | Wednesday, 25 February 2009
We used to have a plumb tree that must have been very old because it was very big and it's trunks were around 60cm wide. I used to sit and eat her plumbs - there were so many during the summer season and she was so cool and shady too. I named her Elizabeth and she was a good friend. She didn't ever speak though she sure did listen well.
My friends, apart from my actual friends and my sister, were our cows and sheep, chooks and horse, dog and cats and of course my Elizabeth!
They talked but only in their native language. *Shrugs*
I think it was nice that you laughed. It kind of means you were really listening and thoughtful enough to show you enjoyed her company. It was a kind of affirmation - it was nice.
Posted by: roses | Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Ok, so she was a plum tree and nothing to do with plumbing at all. Well, except that she produced an awful lot of plums and anything eaten ends up having something to do with plumbing of course!
I hope Wednesday is a smiley one too!
Posted by: roses | Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Well Roses,
it sounds like you had enough imaginary friends for us all!
Those plums sound nice
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Wednesday, 25 February 2009
If we're going with the child themes. I think my youtube is like playing dress up and then putting on a show for the family to watch:)
Posted by: Lee | Wednesday, 25 February 2009
That does sound a good description Lee.
I had a look at your blog and it has some interesting discussion in it.
Good stuff
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Oh Tony - they were so nice. I've never found plums quite the same ever again. I guess its all a bit of a dream now more than a memory so perhaps i have had plums that were the same but because the memory is so rich in feeling, when i eat a plum now, though it may taste the same - well, it just doesn't seem quite the same anymore.
She was a special tree that's for sure.
I do need to question though. The tree was real. The plums were real. I did speak a lot to her from as early as i can remember till the time my dad and mum sold the farm but she didn't ever spoke back to me (not in a way i could hear anyway).
So in what way was my Elizabeth imaginary?
The drink in the picture... was it a macca's slushy? You look all pleased with yourself! *giggles*
Posted by: roses | Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Thanks for checking out my blog:)
I'm enjoying doing it. Knowing I have a blog does neat things with how I organize my thoughts during the day. I write entries in my head and it helps me process experience better. Even when the entries don't make it out of my head onto the computer. Therapy does the same thing. But my therapy situation has been so unstable that I havn't been getting that use out of it. So blogging it is:)
Posted by: Lee | Wednesday, 25 February 2009
No Roses the drink is a frappacino
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Good to hear that you have found writing it out helps Lee,
Having an unstable therapy situation is not such a good thing my friend
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Ohh. Is that why you look all pleased with yourself - they're good!
Posted by: roses | Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Tony! That was not funny!
But THIS is --
One of my brothers used to wet his pants and blame it on his imaginary friend. Finally, one day my father said, "Son, why did you put them back on after someone else peed in them?"
Posted by: Lynn | Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Oh my goodness, Lynn! Your dad must have been so clever to have thought of that! So cute!
Posted by: roses | Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Perhaps blogging is the adult version of having an imaginery friend or a whole bunch of imaginary friends, who turn out to be real after all. Just a thought ;))
xx
Posted by: hullaballoo | Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Hi Tony,
I like the idea of imaginary friends. Maybe we have imaginary enemies too Tony, which is a spin on the good/bad mother idea? Sometimes I've found it hard not to giggle in therapy, as well as yawn, which is probably something I have more regular difficulty with. Teddies are cool. Anyone who throws a teddy against a wall is seriously sick in my view.
Take care.
Nick
Posted by: Nick | Thursday, 26 February 2009
Oh! I've been thinking Tony. Is the question i asked above...
"The tree was real. The plums were real. I did speak a lot to her from as early as i can remember till the time my dad and mum sold the farm but she didn't ever spoke back to me (not in a way i could hear anyway).
So in what way was my Elizabeth imaginary?"
... is that like the 'object affection' thing? Because i do that. I imagine that my bunnies and teddies may beable to feel and so treat them as carefully as i can incase they do actually hurt. Like i would a pet, even though i don't know if they hurt or not. Kind of like the opposite of how people treat fish because they assume they can't feel because they're cold blooded.
I'm not good at killing things. Its a bit - no... its really yucky. If there weren't butchers, i'd be a vegetarian - well a vegetarian that eats eggs and cheese and icecream and yogurt, and meat pies and sausage rolls and hamburgers and hotdogs, and steak (in a resturant)... well i'd just eat meat that some one else has killed. Kinda like now i suppose.
What if you are my imaginary friend? Perhaps Hullaballoo has a point. I hadn't thought of this like that because i've assumed you're a real person but this is cyber space... you may just be all in my imagination.
The thing that makes me feel strange about that is, i'm not sure if i'm disappointed about that or not.
Its too confusing to bother with really. Hope your Thursday is being nice to you... or else! Cheers...
Posted by: roses | Thursday, 26 February 2009
A little birdie tells me you aussies have yet another public holiday.
Tskkk.
(I wish we had more.)
Posted by: Kahless | Saturday, 28 February 2009
I'm guessing (assuming) that you're catching a flight to Tasmania so you're probably if not already on your way, you're there already. So...
Gosh i hope you have a great time! I really hope you get to laugh so much and have fun. I also hope (lots of hope i guess) you get to get about and see some stuff - maybe even the Cadbury Chocolate factory and stuff?
Just have a great time and wishing you a safe trip there, around and back again!
Posted by: roses | Saturday, 28 February 2009
yup, kahless another pubic holiday this weekend. How did you know that??
Posted by: gezunda | Saturday, 28 February 2009
Tweet Tweet!!
hehehe
Posted by: KazzaB | Saturday, 28 February 2009
Hey little birdie LOL. That comment took me a couple of seconds to work out what you were on about hehehe
Posted by: gezunda | Saturday, 28 February 2009
LOL, I couldn't resist!!
Posted by: KazzaB | Saturday, 28 February 2009
Hi Roses,
"I'm Baaack"
Was a great trip and a successful workshop
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Sunday, 01 March 2009
Hi Lynn,
Sounds like your brother had the right idea and imagination.
When my kids were small one day I asked who made all the mess in the kitchen, that one or both of them had obviously done.
There was silence and eventually they said "nobody".
I said, "I see, so Mr Nobody did it did he?"
They replied in the affirmative.
Ever since that day when ever anything went awry, Mr Nobody had done it.
So we had another permanent lodger in the house called Mr Nobody, until this very day
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Sunday, 01 March 2009
I think you make a good point Hulla,
Blog friends are certainly imaginary to some extent I think. We know a little bit about someone and then fill in all the gaps with our imagination perhaps
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Sunday, 01 March 2009
Imaginary enemies Nick?
Maybe the boogey man is one, or the imaginary WMDs.
I am quite sure the father did not mean for the teddy bear's head to come off. But it just made me laugh in that instance.
We therapists are human sometimes you know, as I am sure you would agree.
Cheers
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Sunday, 01 March 2009
Tony?
Welcome home!
Umm, your count down says that the workshop is today. Do you have a time machine to boot??
I'm so glad that your workshop went well - and it sounds like you enjoyed yourself.
That Mr Nobody gets about doesn't he?
Cheers...!
Posted by: roses | Monday, 02 March 2009
Hello Roses,
I did have a productive workshop Roses and yes Mr Nobody seems like a fun guy!
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Monday, 02 March 2009
Hi Tony,
Yes Tony, i agree therapists are human. Occasionally, too, more than human, although probably not for long!!!
I like your new piccies Tony. You look well. There's something therapeutic about a sea breeze isn't there?
Take care,
Nick
Posted by: Nick | Tuesday, 03 March 2009
Hi Nick,
Yes to be out on the water is most invigorating
Tony
Posted by: Tony | Wednesday, 04 March 2009
Hi Tony,
I agree to be on the water is invigorating. Wasn't you tempted to take a dip Tony and really be in it? Knowing you as I imagine I do, I bet you was tempted- especially after a beer or two.
Best wishes and I hope you have a splashing time tomorrow. It only seems like yesterday when we were celebrating your 50th. I guess we've been imaginary friends for a while now Tony.
Nick
Posted by: Nick | Thursday, 05 March 2009
Post a comment