Tony White

Cyberfriend makes note of an instance of self harm and suicide

“The person I discussed here...

The self harm rapidly escalated
He put his partner in hospital (she was lucky not to be killed by him)
He was imprisoned on remand,
a week later (the day after coming off suicide watch) he hung himself.

I still think him stabbing himself was manipulation,
not sure whether hanging himself was.

Though in honesty he did his partner a favour,
as she in now safe and doesnt need to go into hiding.

So how does his original self harm fit within your categories?”
(end quote)



Suicide and self harm are two completely different psychological processes although often the layman puts them together.

Having said that one can have three groups:
Those who are suicidal and not self harming
Those who are self harming and not suicidal
Those who are both suicidal and self harming

So some people will have both but they still involve quite different psychological motivations

The truly suicidal individual has the definitive feature of having a Don’t exist injunction. This is the psychological process that makes for the ‘true’ suicidal person. A message they have in their head, that for some reason they, others or the world would be better off if they were dead.



Self harming has nothing to do with the Don’t exist injunction. Instead it serves other psychological functions such as I showed in my original list:

1. Gang behaviour tattooing type of self harm
2. To make self feel real. Dissociation, detached from reality. Cutting closes the gap.
3. To make self feel something. No feelings at all just numb
4. Tension relief and pressure stress build up
5. Physical expression of emotional pain. Cutting provides concrete evidence of pain
6. Cutting as self nurturing. Allows caring of self. Munchausen Syndrome
7. Self punishment and self hate
8. Manipulation and to get attention

None of this includes a Don’t exist injunction nor is it about attempting to kill self. Instead the self harm is being done for alternative reasons as I have listed.



However there are people who do make suicidal statements and gestures who are not suicidal. These people are not suicidal as it is never their goal to kill self and they do not have a Don’t exist injunction. If they do die by their own hand then it is an accident not a suicide as their intent was not to kill self. Some make these gestures for manipulation of some kind. So people can use both self harm and suicidal gestures for manipulative reasons.

Regarding the person you described who was on remand in prison I can make some guesses as I did work in a prison where I ran the suicide watch programme for three years. Those who are making suicidal gestures for manipulative reasons are usually seeking to get onto suicide watch and mostly are not the truely suicidal person.



The inmate you describe was on suicide watch. He must have then made all the right noises and behaviours to appear to be not at current risk and then he is taken off suicide watch. The next day he completes a suicide by hanging in a prison which is usually not an easy thing to do. So he must have done some prior planning which means he probably made a decision to kill self days before and then simply played out all the necessary moves and completed his goal.

This has all the hallmarks of the truly suicidal person who has a Don’t exist injunction. So it is unlikely that it was a suicidal gesture to manipulate the system in some way. This means he falls into the group that are both suicidal and self harming.

Graffiti