The suicide decision : Tony White

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Sunday, 05 April 2009

The suicide decision

Cyberfriend asks:

“I guess the circumstances triggered the dont exist injunction to be acted upon.

But what can determine the when?”
(end quote)

That is a very Gordian question my pommy friend. Why a person would act on the Don’t exist injunction at one point and not at another? As is hypothesised people most often will make these early decisions like the Don’t exist decision within the first 6 years of life and then it remains in their psyche and only becomes ‘operational’ when certain conditions in life arise. They have decided that suicide is a viable solution to certain life events.

One way to answer your question is to look at the different form the Don’t exist decision can take. Seven alternative suicidal decisions have been proposed:

1. If you don’t change I will kill myself
2. If things get too bad I will kill myself
3. I will show you even if it kills me
4. I will get you to kill me
5. I will kill myself by accident
6. I will almost die (over and over) to get you to love me
7. I will kill myself to hurt you.

If one finds they belong no where that may activate the Don't exist decision

These give some idea as to the life circumstances that a person will need to have before acting on their internalised Don’t exist injunction. For instance with number two decision we find that person known as the share market simpleton. This person has taken great risks in shares and now they have lost everything and this could be in their mind when - things get too bad - and thus they will act on the Don’t exist injunction.

With such people one would be questioning them on what - “If things get too bad” - means. It may be related to the loss of money, or marriage or even their reputation. Once you have identified this then you can begin to understand and make predictions about when this person will act on their Don’t exist injunction.

One could take decision number five - “I will kill myself by accident”. Enquiry into the individual’s life on what they are doing that is risky and then looking at any Child ego state magical thinking around the risks they are taking. This will again allow one to make predictions about when this person will carry out their suicidal decision.

This mother made a smart decision

Suicide decision four - “I will get you to kill me” - sometimes happens in domestic violence situations. Alternatively people on death row can have made this type of Don’t exist decision early on in life.

Decision three - “I will show you even if it kills me” - is sort of suicide from a rebellious position. In this situation one would be seeking information about the person’s current relationships and finding out who and what they would want to ‘show’. Once the information is elicited then one again is more capable of answering the question that Cyberfriend asked - How does one determine when a person will act on their Don’t exist injunction?

Graffiti

10:16 Permalink | Comments (31) | Email this | Tags: suicide, suicide risk, don't exist, child development

Comments

Number 2 "If things get too bad I will kill myself" is my underlying feeling that pushes itself out from time to time. My view of what "too bad" is fluctuates. For a much too long time the threshold for that was very low. Fortunately now it's harder to hit that "too bad" point.

I'm awful at killing myself as evidenced by me still being alive (or maybe there's just enough of my that wants to live too). But Having the option there in the back of my head actually serves to help me. It doesn't help once the danger is more immediate. When it starts making messes. But on a day to day basis it is nice.

I like the idea of a "dont exist injunction" but I think it also involves a battle between the "dont exist injunction " and a "do exist" feeling. Feeling suicidal, for me at least, is a chaotic back and forth between should I or shouldn't I.

Posted by: Lee | Sunday, 05 April 2009

Thank you for your comments Lee and I might do another short post in reaction to some of them, particularly your last sentence.

I understand what you mean when you say that in one sense the option serves to help you as long as there is not an immediate danger. Any more you might want to say on that would be welcome. Like, how do you see it helping you?

Thanks again

Tony

Posted by: Tony | Sunday, 05 April 2009

When suicide? That is something one would ask an astrologer and they wouldnt be able to tell.

I have known some chemo patients who have killed themselves at later stages in their treatment. They became very depressed - it wasnt that the treatment was failing.

I think its generally easier to keep living than to end things when in ill health. In some cases though I would be all for suicide assist and euthenasia.

kenoath

Posted by: kenoath | Sunday, 05 April 2009

It helps with the more minor bad things like 'yes this situation is bad, but it's not quite bad enough to kill myself over, which if it does get worse is an option.'

Most of the time I have a method picked out. I'm very protective of the method of the moment. I feel like sharing it corrupts it.
There have been times where I felt my method had been corrupted or somehow made unusable. And it immediately has pushed me into a depression, often times making me want to die more. I've had times where I became suicidal because I felt my option to kill myself was ruined. Feeling that option is taken away from me makes everything feel like it is crumbling around me.
It's such a strongheld belief that I will kill myself eventually, I just don't know when. It might be at 90. It might be at 25. A threat to that belief I have trouble handling.

Posted by: Lee | Sunday, 05 April 2009

I think that I had/have a "do not exist" clause in my head. But watching my mother's failed suicide attempts put that action into the list of "crappy-things-my-mom-did-that-I-will-not-do-because-I-will-not-be-like-her-when-I-grow-up".
When I was younger and in a less stable environment I felt this as a near constant internal struggle. I don't so much anymore. The "will not do" has long ago outweighed the "do not exist".
-else

Posted by: else | Monday, 06 April 2009

A very interesting post Graffiti.

I was going to make a quip, but having read the comments I wont.

It is interesting to read the seven decisions.

Am I right in thinking that some people who suicide may not have the dont exist injunction?

There are some people who just give up because there is no more hope anymore for them?

I am thinking actually of my grandfather in this case. He didnt die by taking his own life as such. But he was dead within six months of his daughter (my aunt) dying suddenly.

I think he gave up. He loved her very much, but I am not sure if he ever told her.

Posted by: Kahless | Monday, 06 April 2009

I just can't help wondering what it must be like to be dead. I remember seeing all the animals and pets that used to just lie there dead and its intriguing don't you think? Then there's the whole 'sixth sense' or 'ghost whisperer' type story and it just makes me wonder what it must be like to not have a body to live in anymore. Must be strange to keep existing when you feel you shouldn't anymore.

So...

Suicide watch is really only designed for people who don't really want to die but think they feel like they do at the time? It exists to help the people that are 'inbetween' decisions at that moment?

Posted by: roses | Monday, 06 April 2009

Hello Kenoath,

Astrologers and predicting suicide could happen

Maybe if one combined both astrologer and therapist then the prediction might be better.

then one would be an astro-therapist!

Graffiti