Tony White

KazzaB states about the previous post:

"I loved reading about the german women. What was the reaction from the other people around the pool? I think that's wonderful and something I'd love to aspire to. To not feel self conscious and just accept yourself as you are is a real gift”



There would have been three reactions from all the others at the pool KazzaB

One third would have responded from their Child ego state: I know that as I watched them I was interested and curious from an anatomical point of view because I never get to see a body like that without it being almost completely covered up. What does the body do with all that fat and extra weight? Where and how does it put it on the body?

One third would have responded from their Adult ego state: These people would have observed and viewed them and maybe asked a question like, “Is that a cultural thing where over weight German women can display their bodies like that?”

One third would have responded from their Parent ego state: “Look at those fat women, they are disgusting and should be ashamed of themselves. They are obviously weak willed and should go on a diet”.



That’s it KazzaB. There is always going to be those three responses. Obviously the Parent ego state response is the most contentious one. You can get laws changed where one can’t make discriminatory statements about over weight people. But you can never stop people thinking and feeling Parent ego state responses.

This is where I think most political groups fail. The “Fat is good” political force in society stands up for their rights and get laws changed that say you can’t poke fun at fat people and so forth. To my mind they also need to openly acknowledge that people will always have a Parent ego state and that means that some of them will always think derogatory and discriminatory thoughts. Those can never be stopped and this needs to be openly stated.



Those German women would know that. That some of the people watching them pool side would be thinking that they are fat and ugly. Somehow they have their own internal thinking structured such that it does not modify their behaviour or their perception of self (I assume).

Part of that would be an acceptance of self. That is they are focusing on self and not others. The question is not - “Do they think I am fat and ugly?” instead it is - “Do I think I am fat and ugly?” And it is in this way that the political groups are actually bad psychologically for the over weight people. The political groups are focussed on changing others. Their focus is on how others behave which to my mind is the wrong thing to do. It is not about focussing on self it is about changing others.

This is what I like about the Pro-ana groups. Whilst they do give out unfortunate advice to teenage girls on loosing weight and so forth, it is a self focussed approach. It says to the girls “I live the anorexic lifestyle and that is (I am) OK”. They are not trying to change others.



That is why I like the last sentence in your comment KazzaB, about the self acceptance. We always know how others will react. One third will be from Child, one third will be from Adult and one third will be from Parent. But that focusses on them and not on what I think and feel.

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